The jump when dreams come true

Learning to dream again or how does the trip start

Let me firstly tell you how did we come up with that idea, how the idea of the trip was born and how we still do not have clear answers to all of the questions we receive once we tell our plans for the upcoming year, and also how did the very first time I react to the idea myself and all will get clear why do I talk about learning to dream again.

The jump when dreams come true

How have we got that crazy idea: to travel by bicycle so far, starting in winter in Europe!?

Why travel by bicycle? Why cycle so far and for so long? Why start the trip in winter, when it is cold? Is this even possible?

Many people, many whys,  many more answers; as we try to answer it all and each time our answers are different, our ideas slightly changed along with our preparation in each of us.  Even after half a year of planning, nearly having everything prepared…. or well, beeing in preparation as we are still missing one bike for Umut and some other important stuff, but huh, we have already canceled our apartment,…  we both do not have clear answers for ourselves to those questions. It is a topic we still sometimes discuss and dispute (oh what a colourful life we live).

I believe everyone who sets on any journey has different reasons for himself, that are changing along the road as everything that we truly let inside changes us, and thus to all whys no same answers are given.

Of course, there are always some initial reasons, something that pushes us to start the first step. I could say here loads of initial reasons, like having a wanderlust, searching ourselves, being bored with routine… just as it is described in a page ‘about us‘. But apart from all those reasons I had a clear push, nearly literally, once Umut spoke it out and materialized that idea.

When someone suggests you do a bicycle trip to see the Himalayas, you…

The very first time I have heard the suggestion to do a long trip on a bike to see the Himalayas, thousands of thoughts started running through my head! Although not exactly, firstly I got shocked and a moment later that silent broke with those thousands of thoughts gushing into the brain. The words spoken out loud had the effect I could not expect. When I look back, that was the big push I am talking about, as I have come to realize I had forgotten how to dream! The Himalaya was just like the moon-unreachable dream, the one we are full of when we are kids.

I remember my sister always wishing me to not forget to dream and at the time I was so sure that could never ever happen. I loved dreaming, I was full of it!

Dreaming seemed something as natural as breathing and yet I have discovered it isn’t!

I forgot to dream. Standing with that question in silence I was scared and uncomfortable with dreaming. Many thoughts and questions were spinning instead of letting me be joyful, happy and crazily excited. I was worried and my very first response when Umut said out loud the suggestion was a silence followed by a big question: what will happen after the trip!?

Even when after some silence I was asked if I am not at least a bit excited about the trip, the feeling of worry was still the strongest feeling over everything else. The worry about not knowing what will happen after that!!! Funny, isn’t it? Already Seneca was laughing at this human desire for knowing the future, explaining it that “it is because no one has yet found himself.” (Seneca told once)

Learning to dream again

It took some time, breathing in and out, concentrating on my feelings, searching for reasons and realizing that no-one knows what the future will bring … I admitted I felt fear, but not for travelling. I felt fear for not being able to control and foresee everything, I suddenly felt insecure and vulnerable and felt the world sliding. But indeed that desire of control was not letting me free, it was not letting me dream.

The flow of thoughts was still running through my head as we were standing outside our favourite coffee place we just left for closing. It was getting dark – winter, but not cold. Umut was holding me from my sides as well as keeping my eyes with his and waiting for me to say something more, the second reaction from inner me. Although my head was still in chaos and I was still feeling unstable in my mind, everything was settling down. Umut was flustered, but radiating the serenity for me. I took a deep deep breath and let all go.We have hugged and I felt calm as I knew that is the person I can travel to the end of the world.

I knew I need to start learning to dream again and I knew with some push from Umut the journey is going to teach me. I just need to let the control of everything and go.


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